Homosexuality, Nature versus Nurture

Ben wrote in his blog about gays in the military and touched on the issue of homosexuality being a choice.  Years ago when I was taking sociology, I  wrote a paper on this subject.  At the same time I was taking psychology, and social anthropology.  Talk about warping someone’s views… Anyway there is an age old debate about nature versus nurture and the issue of homosexuality falls into this category.

I believe that homosexuality is not a choice.  I believe it’s something you’re born with, or at least a predisposition toward.  You can look at a gay guy with raised by a mom and three sisters and say, “See what else would you expect?”  But the majority of male kids raised without a male roll model turn out straight, and the majority of gay men didn’t grow up that way.  I have known a couple of gay guys since elementary school, and they were clearly on the path to being gay way back then.

Did you know that there are only a few things that are common across all known cultures?  Smiling, music, religion of some sort, and homosexuality (there are a few others, but only a handful).  Also the rate of homosexuality tends to be constant, in terms of percentage of individuals who have experienced a homosexual act beyond kids being curious.  It’s at about 5% of a given population.  This is true among all societies.  While our environment can certainly influence our behaviors, it does seem that when it comes to homosexuality, some people are just gay.

I’m not sure why it’s so hard for people to accept this.  To a gay person, being physically attracted to the same sex is as natural as us being physically attracted to the opposite sex.  To be sure there are some who choose to explore the taboo side of it, but they tend to be bi-sexual rather than homosexual.  Some might choose it simply to reject the beliefs that society projects on them, sticking to the man so to speak.

Regardless of the why, homosexuality has always existed.  It exists in all societies, even those tribes in the rain forests that have had very little contact with the outside world.  Even animals participate in homosexuality.   One study done in 1999 found examples of homosexuality in more than 1500 species of animals.  Aprox 500 of these have been well documented, meaning it was just a confused dog.  So it seems clear to me that homosexuality is natural, meaning it exists in nature.  Because of this I think it’s impossible to say someone chose to be gay.  Of course sexuality is a spectrum, not an absolute; and culture does influence behavior, but, for the most part, people are either born gay or they’re not (or somewhere on that spectrum:  see the scene on The Spectrum of Human Sexuality in the movie Hiding Out).

Agree or disagree?

Jahm

A Brother’s Love Never Dies

Even if you shoot it, but I’m getting ahead of myself.  Yesterday I was having a discussion on facebook with a friend who I haven’t seen in years.  The topic was Moon Sand and how it was evil product.  I said that Floam was way worse, but that’s neither here or there.  The result was I was reminded of a funny tragedy that befell him.

He and his brother were camping one weekend with a couple of friends.  For whatever reason they were armed with .22’s (yeah, you can see where this is going).  During the night they heard some sound that apparently scared them because his older brother grabbed the gun.  When he heard something running in the woods to his side, he turned and shot.  The bullet hit my friend square in the chest.  Now remember I said it was funny.  So they’re rushing Barry (my friend) to the hospital and Chuck (his brother) was in the backseat with him, no doubt freaking out.  Barry being the guy he is started holding his breath and pretending to be dead, thus freaking his brother out.  Granted it was only a .22 and there are pretty much only two places you could hit someone with a .22 and kill them: the brain or the heart.  This bullet, in fact, lodged itself a mere inch from his heart, where it remains to this day.

I’m not sure why I felt like sharing this story, but I’ve always found it be very defining of Barry.  Rather than being pissed that he had just been shot, he was joking around, in his own sadistic way.

Jahm

She’s Invited– Oh Wait, That Said Indicted

From today’s issue of the Henderson Gleaner under the heading Grand Jury Indictments:

- Jennifer L. Whitledge, 33, Zion, second-degree burglary and theft over $300

In case it’s not obvious, that’s the ex-wife.  For some reason they left off the theft of a controlled substance charge.  I know I shouldn’t derive pleasure from this but I do.  She did this to herself, to the kid whose medicine she stole, and to our kids.  I had the chance to have her arrested more than once after our divorce but opted not to.  Who wants to explain to their kids that their mommy is sporting the fashionable orange becasue Daddy put her there?  God knows she deserves it, and I honestly believe she needs it.  You see the biggest problem my ex has is that she’s never been made to suffer a consequence.  Someone has always been there to swoop in and pick her up.  After our divorce, and threats to kill herself, she fell back into the arms of her high school flame (it seems now that it’s entirely possible that the had started their relationship prior to our marriage ending, but I remain skeptical, and unconcerned).  Her mom has always bailed her out (literally) and paid any fines she’s incurred.  In fact everyone always feels so sorry for her that her life is usually made a little better after every fuck-up.  Not this time.

There are three options from here:

1.  The case will be handled in drug court.  The basic premise of drug court is that the defendant would otherwise be a good person if not for their probably addiction.  As part of their sentencing the charges are usually deferred and she would be assigned to a year-long treatment program and monitoring.  After the completion of the program the charges are usually dismissed entirely.  Now, ordinarily the idea that she would be forced to get the treatment she requires would be the right one.  However, as I’ve said, I firmly believe that her biggest problem is that she never has to pay the price for her actions, and the price keeps getting higher.  So I’m hoping that her case will not be handled through drug court.

2.  The case will go to a jury trial.  The result would likely be an a conviction.  There is always a chance of an acquittal, especially with a jury trial.  I understand that she confessed to the sheriff’s office, and I know she did to the person who brought the charges.  Assuming she’s convicted, she will serve some jail time and likely have to do some form of drug treatment program plus a lengthy probation.  I’m guessing, and it’s purely a guess, that she would get something like 3 years, forced to serve 30 days, and have the rest probated.

3.  She could accept a plea deal.  Having forced the case this far along, knowing that the prosecution’s case is strong, and because of the constant badgering from the victim, I doubt the deal would be that sweet.  I imagine she’ll still serve some jail time, but they may suspend that… again I doubt it.

Anyway it shakes out, a conviction or guilty plea benefits me.  She took this medicine from a child for whom she was caring.  This kid is not one of those marginal kids who some might say is lazy or the parents just don’t want to deal with his behavioral problems, he needed this medicine and had to do without it because of her.  That could have just as easily been Brian.  Plus, the way she’s been lately feels like where she was right before she slapped my 2 year old daughter.  She has constantly discussed the custody situation with the kids, leaving out the fact that she did what she’s being charged with.  Rather than trying to offer comfort or telling them things will be worked out when the kids talk about missing her, she reinforces it and even fuels it.  While she pissed me off often, I can get over that.  What I can’t get over is what she’s doing to the kids.  So this indictment brings us one more step closer to the desired end.  Oh, btw, I found out that her husband is being sued by her aunt.  I’m not sure why, but it must involve a large sum of money because her aunt is loaded and a great lady.  I’ll have to see what I can find on that.

Jahm

Snow Ball Hell

Maybe they’re too soft, maybe they’re just affected too much by all the back and fourth right now, it’s hard to say.  When the kids got here Monday afternoon I expected them to be overjoyed in the efforts I had put into the snow fort… and they were for all of 5 minutes.  Then the snowballs started flying.  First in the house was Brian, his tears accentuated by the blob on show still on the side of his head.  Apparently his little sister had been bullying him and pegged him in the head with a snow ball.  I instructed them to not hit each other in the head and set about fixing supper.  Next was the argument of the use of the snow block maker, then the snow ball maker, then Hadley comes in crying.  It seems that Brian had exacted his revenge and pegged (yes, the use of the word pegged is required when talking about snow balls) her in the ribs with a snow ball containing a chunk of ice.  Then exgf-1 dropped off her son Nick to help Brian with the completion of the snow fort.  Things settled down for a little while but an hour later Nick comes in complaining that Brian won’t quit throwing snow balls at him.  I swear, if they were just a little bit older, I would have started throwing snow balls at all three of them.  I’ll be glad when they’re old enough to just roam the neighborhood creating phallic additions to snowmen.

Jahm

PS  The other night when I was helping Nick with his snow fort, he looked at me sheepishly and said, “Ben, do you care if I pee outside?”  WTF, hell no, all boys pee outside.  I told him that our ability to not only pee anywhere, any time, but to be able to write our name in the snow is one of the biggest factor behind penis envy.

Let’s Keep it Up (pun intended)

Since BlackBird has everyone in heat, let’s keep the party going.  Today’s topic boys and girls is Squirting.  As always I would like to pose a question to all of you ladies:  can you squirt?

I have done a great deal of research on this topic and I believe it to be real.  Don’t get me wrong, when searching porn, at least half of the squirting videos on the net are either fake or just straight peeing.  From what I’ve read, squirting does involve some urine and comes from the urethra but it also contains additional components that are very similar to male semen (not sperm).  Of the videos I’ve seen, the orgasm involved seems to be one of the most intense things ever witnessed and I’ve seen some intense orgasms.  The seem to involve multiple orgasms, what I call the pushing through orgasms.  That’s when things get super sensitive, you ladies know what I’m talking about, but instead of stopping, I latch on and increase the speed and intensity while they desperately try to stop me.    They also seem to involve both g-spot and super intense clitoral stimulation.

I have made it my life’s ambition to make a woman squirt.  Just imagine the ego boost of that! As of yet, I have not achieved my goal.  I’ve come close a few times, but close does cut it.  So two questions, do you think it’s real or just peeing?  Have you/do you squirt?  Guys feel free to offer your tales on the subject too.

Jahm

Snow Daze

When I was a kid there was nothing more exciting as the prospect of a snow day.  I can remember waiting (often in vain) for the first flakes to fall the night before.  The obvious goal: for school to be canceled.  It doesn’t take a great deal of snow to cancel school around here, so the chances were pretty fair.  It’s nice to that this hasn’t been lost on my son.  They had been forecasting snow for last Friday all week.  The predicted totals had been in flux all week but by Thursday we were in the 3-6 inch range.  Unfortunately, the time of arrival had changed to Friday afternoon/evening, so poor Brian had to do his homework and go to bed knowing he most assuredly would be going to school.

Unfortunately the kids were at their mom’s this weekend because we did get about 5 inches of powdery white goodness.  It turns out that I’m still just as pumped about snow as I used to be.  We only get a couple of good snows a year around here, so it gets me going.  I stayed up late Friday night just to watch it piling up.  Saturday I had promised ExGf-1’s son that I would take him sledding (I made this promise when the forecast had the snow coming late Thursday night so I was planning on taking all three kids).  Nick doesn’t really have a male roll-model in his life, and while I may not be the best roll model, there are things this kid needs to know about being a boy.  After sledding when they dropped me off at home, I told him I was going to make Brian a Snow Fort.  Nick said, “Cool, I want one.  But what do you do with a snow fort?”  WTF?  What kid doesn’t know about the joy of sitting inside a cold, cramped “igloo” and pretending to be an Eskimo?

So I set about to making Brian’s Snow Fort and told Nick to shovel his driveway and make a huge pile of snow.  In the mean time I I set about to work on Brian’s fort.  For Christmas I got Brian and Hadley these snow brick molds.  Turns out that it takes a really long time to build a Fort with these things and so I abandoned that method and opted for the preferred.

For the ladies how probably don’t know, there preferred method of Snow Fort construction involved making a huge pile of snow, packing it down, piling up more, and then digging out your living space.  I chose a spot that receives morning sun so as to melt the snow a little and by afternoon it’s in shade so it freezes back nice and solid.  I spent about 5 hours over the weekend shoveling and piling snow, and Brian wasn’t even here!  Sometimes I wonder who I’m really doing this for.  I guess I still enjoy a good snow day as much as any kid.  Brian will be here this afternoon so I’ll post pictures once we finish it.

Jahm

Today is Re-Post Your Favorite Day

Due to a clear lack of leadership around this place, we haven’t had a theme day in awhile (if ever).  While I am in no way stepping up to the plate to establish myself as a leader, I thought since Friday’s are sometimes slow around here we could make it re-post your favorite post day.  So dig through your archives either from here of JS and pick the one that YOU like best and repost it.  It’s also Post While Vibrating Day for all you ladies, but I figured that might be a little difficult for you working gals.  Bonus points if you can pull it off at work.

Jahm

I’m Afraid it’s Come to This

Many of my post will be Friends Only from now on.  As you know, I’m entering into what’s sure to be a bitter custody battle with the ex.  To censor my writing would defeat the whole purpose of blogging for me so I feel this little precaution is necessary.  I never worried about it before even though Jahm is a nickname I’ve had since high school and quite a few people still call me that.  You see my ex isn’t smart enough to think of that or even think to google it.  However, my son is.  Last night my daughter was logging into her facebook account which uses my yahoo email containing “jahm” and asked how to spell it again (for them to have a facebook account, they had to use my email addy’s so I could monitor).  Brian informed me he knew the name of my blog, Jahm Jahm.  She is exactly the type of person who would manipulate the kids for info, so I feel that this move is necessary.  Anyone who would like to continue to read my racier stuff feel free to send a friendship request.  Everyone here is welcome, it’s only outsiders I’m looking to block.

Jahm

The Dangers of Blogging– Re-post for Mouse

It seems that mouse has just discovered the addictive nature of blogging.  Just so she might be aware of the dangers associated with it, I decided to re-post this:

Federal regulation may be needed to stave off the dangers associated with blogging.  As the popularity of blogging increases every year so does the many harms it causes.  What’s worse is that unscrupulous, lunatic, neo-nazi, fascist administrators are doing their best to convince you that you need to pay money to add content to their site.  In wildly overblown claims of high overhead, time consumption, and other made up costs, they further try to guilt by relentlessly berating you to click their adds.  All the while, they exhibit total disregard for our safety, while they freely impose their will like some tyrant on his throne, without so much as a disclaimer warning of the impending dangers to which you will no doubt be exposed.  In addition to government regulation, we need to take personal responsibility and at very least become aware of the dangers associated with the free, unfettered expression of ideas (as if).

Social Associative disorder.  This is perhaps the greatest danger of all.  This is where you become detached from reality and become completely engrossed in the cyber-world  of blogging.  Oddly enough, you may even dedicate entire posts to making fun of “losers” for playing virtual reality games like Second Life.  Saying their stupid because they don’t even know it’s not real.  SAD is difficult to spot initially as it is a progressive ailment, however there are warning signs.  First, if you find yourself actually, lol’ing, this can often be the first step to SAD.  Next, on the rare occasions when you do venture away from your computer, you spend your evening wondering what’s going on at your blogsite.  You begin to have difficulty interacting with real-world friends because every time you try to explain the hilarity that goes on online, they just don’t get it.  Next you begin to tell complete strangers your deepest, darkest secrets and fears.  Finally, you find yourself in the midst of a steamy online relationship that no one seems to get.  No longer is there time for any real world activities and the very line between real and cyber becomes indistinguishable.

Cooking while blogging.  It seems that accidents in the kitchen are on the rise as well-meaning folks start dinner and simply must get back to that last post they were reading.  By the time they’ve left the fifth witty comment and the smoke breaks them from the computer’s grips, dinner is lost and full blown fires have been caused by this.

Poor Work Performance.  The online world will not simply wait for you to get home from work so you’re left with no choice but to enter that url and point your browser to your favorite blog site.  It all starts innocently enough, something like, “I’ve been looking at spreadsheets for hours, I’m just going to pop in to see what’s going on.”  The next time you look up, it’s 5 o’clock and time to go home… to get on your home computer and see if anyone has replied to your last comment or post.  For those of you who like to write in the morning, you may find that tardiness has become an issue.

Delusions of Grandeur.  For political bloggers, they often seem to feel that they alone have figured out the solution to all the world’s problems, or at very least can point out what’s wrong with the policies that a team of people with far greater IQ’s and extensive education have proposed.  Whats more, is the feeling of disdain you get when others read your work and aren’t instantly swayed to your side.  This can also occur in the area of sexuality.  You somehow feel because you’ve written of your sexual prowess that it is somehow increased.  Because you declare yourself the Clit Whisperer somehow makes you believe that you are.

These are the dangers unsuspecting bloggers face everyday.  So I urge all of you to go to your bloggs and raise awareness on this very important issue.  For it’s only through our blogging that we can bring about change.  Join with me as we smite those who would undo our efforts to make the world a better place one word at a time.

Shit, lunch was over two hours ago and I haven’t even looked at porn yet… gotta run!

Jahm

Matt’s Wardrobe — For EF

I wasn’t around yesterday to comment on your post (so that doesn’t make it stealing).  As I used to work in pretty much the same industry, I feel that I am uniquely qualified to offer input here.

The first thing you have to consider when upgrading/changing your business wardrobe, particularly when sales are involved is your audience.  Given the advanced automation projects Matt will be working on, he will be dealing with Engineers.  These will be project engineers and the occasional plant/product line manager.  This does elevate the dress code somewhat, but they’re still engineers.  Granted, today’s engineers are not the geeky, pocket protector-wearing engineers of the past like my dad.  Luckily it’s never okay to wear dress socks with tennis shoes and shorts anymore.  You need to look nice, but function is still a premium.

The second thing you have to consider is what you want your look to convey.  It’s not a fashion show, and what you wear does say something about you.  However, in this case, it’s not the last word.  Just ask Matt about what Sam from E&H wears.  He color coordinates his ensemble.  By color coordinating, I don’t mean that his socks have a color that picks up a color in his shirt or an accent in his tie.  I mean if he wears a green and white shirt (which he does), then he wears solid green pants, and solid green socks.  I’m talking primary color green not hunter, not sage, not desert pine, but I digress.  What Matt needs his clothing to say is I’m kind of pimp, geek pimp, but pimp.  He needs his wardrobe to project an image of guy who knows his shit, who is successful, and has taste, but not the kind of taste where he shops daily for the latest in mensware.  At the same time you need to project the idea that you’re not afraid to jump in and do some real work, to get your hands dirty.  They want to know that you’ve been on a line, assembled some equipment, that you’ll dig through their machine and figure out which sensor is causing you problems and why.

Luckily this is one of the more easily accomplished looks to have.  First of all the majority of his shirts should be provided by his vendors.  It’s not only acceptable, but desirable to have shirts with logos related to the products you use in the industrial world.  Keep in mind as an up and comer in the organization, vendors might not stop by and just offer these things… ask them.  The squeaky wheel gets greased.  Also most vendor provided training classes include a nice polo.  Speaking of polos, in the spring and summer, the polo is the staple to the industrial salesman’s wardrobe.  In the winter months, it’s the standard button down.  Don’t get too fancy here.  Stick with unobtrusive stripes, checkers, or solids.  Also, with the button down, you’re projecting and image of success here, so you’re going to want to pay a little extra for that emblem.  Brand name counts, it doesn’t have to be some exclusive brand, but it does need to be a brand.  I highly recommend Polo for this purpose for the following reasons:  1.  They really are high quality.  2.  They’re easily recognizable.  3.  They’re good with subtlety. 4. There is a good Polo outlet just north of Louisville, so they can be gotten on the cheap.

Now the part you’re going to spend the most time focusing on is pants.  In industrial salesman you can always spot the guys how are old schoolers that have been around since the great wardrobe change of the 90’s.  They still wear suit pants and nicer dress pants, albeit with polos now.  It’s okay in this setting, but it’s not the look you want to strive for when just starting out.  The Khaki pant is the staple of any good industrial engineer’s wardrobe.  You can never have too many.  Dockers are okay, but they wear fast.  You’ll need several pair in several shades ranging from brown to olive.  Keep in with charcoal and olive pants, once they fade, there is a period where they’re not much use until they become really faded and worn, then they become part of your casual wardrobe.  You need to have different styles of these too.  Pleated front, flat front, strait cut, loose fit, cuffed, and uncuffed.  Which ones you rely on the most is a matter of trying them on and seeing what fits best.  Buy nice, thick ones too.  Again, Polo makes a great chino, but it’s not a requirement.  One or two pair of nicer wool slacks will probably be required for big pitches/meetings.

Shoes are important.  Brown, semi casual dress shoes that take their inspiration from a cross between a boot and engineer shoes are a good choice.  You want something that can look good in either the boardroom or the plant floor.  Some styles will even get you out of having to put on steel toes if the place you’re at isn’t too big on safety rule enforcement.

Belts, well as long as they match.  Black shoes, black belt, brown shoes brown belt.  Thicker, not thinner.  One of each in a full-grain leather should do, maybe with a back of dress belt to wear when going with the slacks for the big presentation.  On the everyday belts, avoid shinny leather.  Once they get some wear, they’ll show it where as a regular leather belt only gets better with age.

Jahm